Exploring Southbank Center

I needed to get out of the house today — I may or may not have been up until 3am launching my Facebook page and email list (check out the form in the sidebar!) — so I took a jaunt down to Royal Festival Hall and Southbank Centre.

Not my best work.

Right next to the Hungerford Bridge on the south bank.
(God it's all so effing greeeeeyyyyyyy)

(Here's where I admit to you that I didn't realize that the Southbank Centre is a legit arts centre, with lots of stuff going on daily, monthly, etc. I just thought it was, like, a repurposed Sprint Center. Hashtag-such-a-n00b...)

The center/centre itself is ... unstructured? I walked in and found myself in a very open, rather eclectic space. Half of a photo exhibit (see below!) is set up in the foyer, which leads to a large dance floor (currently set up with tables, chairs and benches and hosting what appears to be a well-attended toddler play date), which is next to a bar-slash-ticket-sales area, and by now we've made it to the other side which is home to the other half of the photo exhibition. The level below me was, at that time, full of break dancers. I think it's also a large event venue because they made announcements about doors opening at a certain time.

World Press Photo Contest 2015. So good.

Break dancing happening right below me!

For being in London, it felt very chaotic!

However, I did find the fifth and sixth floors, and they are perfect for working. They're very open and feature lots of trendy tables, chairs and floofy couches. It's a blogger's haven: barista at-the-ready, free wifi and a balcony view over the Thames.

That little bit of red on the far end is the London Eye.

I went specifically to view the World Press Photo Exhibition ("on" through 29 November if you're in London before then) and I wasn't let down. I'm fascinated by photo journalism — it is intimate and real, and a stunning presentation of history, current events, pop culture, life — and these are the best submissions from 2015 form all over the world. Several topics were featured, from the Ebola outbreak to online dating profiles. I was really moved by this series of photos by Arash Khamooshi.

But the best part is the elevator.

Yes. The elevator.

(I mean the lift. Whatever.)

It sings to you!

At the very end of the video below, a very high voice sings, "Le-vel Six." When I showed this to Britton he said that I had found "my elevator soulmate." ACCURATE. (Here's another video that shows more of the singing.)

I will be back to see what Southbank has in store in the coming months, and I highly recommend a stroll through if you're in the area, especially if the weather is gross and gray.

How Finding Friends is Like Dating

Building a social circle has been a main focus since arriving in the UK. We have amazing circles of friends and family back home, but for some reason few people offered to transplant their lives along with us so that we could have built-in drinking buddies here in London. (Weird, right?)

Lately I've also seen several friends post about how it's difficult to find new friends in our current life stages — some have had Big Life Changes while others feel like their established friend base has become more distant recently (emotionally or literally). How do you connect with people when it's routine to return to your solo apartment, to a significant other, or if you enjoy solitary hobby?

Making friends is basically the same as dating. Here's what I've found helpful as I set up my new life in London:

Make the first move.

Maybe not this move.
Or maybe YES THIS MOVE.

Opening a conversation is as simple as saying, "Hi, I'm Ellen. What's your name?" (I would suggest using your own name, though you're welcome to borrow mine.) If you've got an opportunity to start a conversation, seize it! I made a friend on the Tube because I asked about the crazy behavior of some of our fellow riders. If your eyes meet from across the room, or, um, I mean, if you find yourself in the same place at the same time, or if your kids go to the same daycare, stick your hand out there and say hello.

Prepare talking points. 

In London, we can always ask, "Where are you from?" because so many Londoners are expats. But after that conversation runs its course, it's habit to venture over to, "So, what do you do?" I've started trying to avoid that question, especially after reading this article about Tess Vigeland's experience with it. Why not try...

• What are the hidden gems in this city? (Especially useful if you're new in town!)
• What keeps you busy on the weekends? 
• Have you traveled much? Where's your favorite place so far?
• Have you read anything interesting lately? 

Those questions are reflective of what I like to do, and what I like to talk about. Which brings me to...

Share a little bit about yourself (and don't be self-conscious about it!).

You know who's really interesting? YOU ARE. I'm writing this for me as a personal reminder and for you as your cheerleader. Perfect strangers don't know you; you have to introduce yourself! I'm not kidding — I thought of three things about myself that I think are really interesting (and relatable) and memorized them. If you really can't think of anything, call your best friend and ask him or her to tell you. I promise they'll have plenty to say.

Ask your friends to set you up. 

Seriously. I asked anyone with contacts in London to connect me, and it turns out I get along really well with the friend of a coworker's college roommate from ten years ago (that's a friend-of-a-friend's-friend if you're keeping score at home). This tactic also comes with a surprising amount of describing what you're wearing so that you can find each other the first time you meet. It's very You've Got Mail. Or borderline sexting, y'know, whichever.

Ask for those digits.

Get a phone number, connect on Facebook, or get their email address (I don't hesitate to add that I'm shamelessly looking for friends). Then...

Reach out!

For whatever reason, at some point in my life I got really self-conscious about texting too much or too soon. I felt very needy, and like I was imposing on someone's life. Well guess what? I AM NEEDY AND DAMN RIGHT I'M PUSHING MY FRIENDSHIP ON YOU. After the first few texts, I got over it because guess what again — if you hit it off well enough that you have someone's contact info, that won't change based on the timing of your message. Pro tip: ask for concrete plans:

• GOOD: "Great to meet you! Are you free to [do activity] on [day]?"
• NOT SO GOOD: "Great to meet you! Would love to [do activity] sometime!"

And finally...

Sign up for online friend-ing.

The best difference between dating and making friends is you don't have to limit yourself to just one friend. You can do everything above while also meeting people online. I'm a Meetup-evangelist (Meetupvelist?) but Facebook has groups, and Google knows everything. I met a woman last night who started searching for German conversation groups and wound up creating her own Historic Pub group. The point is, the internet has a place for every interest, and those interests are materializing into real people doing real things, together. It's pretty great!

Did these ideas strike a chord? Am I overlooking something huge? Say so in the comments! 

Being Pedestrian: UPDATE

I almost forgot my most-loathed fellow pedestrian:

The person who just —STOPS— whenever he or she is walking.

Or, as I have come to learn, they might stop at the top of an escalator. It's like they don't realize that an escalator will dump everyone else on top of you if you don't MOOOOOVE!

Also, I had to share this .gif I found on Reddit captioned, "Fucking Tourists."

I love it! They don't look where they're going, they travel in packs. Lord knows they'll have a selfie stick collection, too. Seriously? There are eighteen of you and no one will volunteer to take a photo of everyone else? You have to all cram in there so all you can see is one tower of Tower Bridge, half of Frank's face and three nostrils? That's great. Making memories. 

On Being a Kansas City Baseball Fan Living Abroad in 2015

• Nobody cares about baseball outside of the US (and maaaaybe Canada and Japan).

• If you do bring up the World Series, the first comment will be that it's only played between two countries. Every. Time.

• People might know who the Yankees are, but no one knows who the Royals are.

• Games started at 1 a.m. GMT — no bars stayed open that late, which meant no fun fan base to watch with. There was disappointing lack of high-fives. And your husband gets really grumpy if you cheer too loudly at 3 a.m.

• Nobody wants me to explain the significance of the Royals' appearance and win in the World Series (see Nos. 1 and 2).

• When you meet another person from the States, you can't help mentioning the Royals! And how excited the whole damn city is right now! And ... what? No actually, Kansas City is in Missouri ... Oh, never mind.

• The few friends you have made over here have probably blocked you on Facebook due to the incessant posting of Salvy memes and #ForeverRoyal posts.

• Haters gonna hate, and the only way you can stand up for your team and fellow fans is via Facebook comment threads — arguably the best way to convince someone to change his/her opinion. (Said no one ever.)

• Social media and streaming websites are a godsend.

• However, streaming a gigantic parade and rally on your phone on a bus is not the same as watching from a friend's downtown loft window. 

• The Mets fan in your Spanish class — the ONE GUY who might appreciate your gloating — didn't show up the day after the Royals won the World Series. Rude.

Missing Kansas City

I'm rather proud of the fact that, other than the expected-but-occasional waves of nostalgia, I haven't had much homesickness.

But then.

Then the Royals WON THE WORLD SERIES and my city erupted in cheers and whistles and fireworks and Facebook status updates with shared images ... while I was sleeping at 5am.

And THEN.

Then the first streetcar in nearly 59 years arrived, settling in just two blocks from my loft in downtown KC. The streetcar that will run on all of the rail which caused all of the construction that I've been walking and biking over for the last 18 months. (Following photo credit @angraor on Instagram.)

Here she is! #kcstreetcar

A photo posted by Amanda Graor (@angraor) on Nov 2, 2015 at 7:54am PST

So now my FOMO kicks into high gear and I'm left pondering what I really miss about my hometown. So, here's my list, which I'm sure will change over time:

Things I kinda miss:

• Familiar bike routes.
• Knowing where to go without consulting Google Maps
• Autonomy that comes with owning a car (NOTE: I do NOT miss driving. Just being on my own schedule.)
• Feeling like I can afford ALL THE THINGS
• Coworkers
• Feeling of accomplishment knowing I at least went to work that day

Things I don't miss:

• Working 
• Sprawling intersections 
• Driving anywhere farther than 5 miles 
• Cops with guns (Here they don't carry them. I think they have tasers and batons, which can do some damage, too, but no guns. No guns pretty much anywhere. Not allowed.)

And then, there are...

The Things I REEEEALLY miss:

• Celebrating Royals wins and KC pride (though I still wear my KC t-shirts all the time!)
• Seeing a familiar face pretty much everywhere
• Street tacos on demand
• Fifi, my bike
• My salary (okay, this is just me complaining...)
• Being crazy involved in my neighborhood, city and interests
• Knowing which friend I can call for a chat, which friend I can call to spontaneously hang out with, for coffee dates, for baby snuggles, for good advice, for the answer I should hear, for the answer I want to hear, for watching obscure sports, for participating in obscure sports, to be my last-minute symphony date, or for a good mimosa or three (or four) on Sunday.
• Knowing where I can find a good mimosa or three (or four) on a Sunday

So, if you're in KC and you're celebrating (because you have PLENTY OF OPTIONS right now!!) raise a glass and send me a photo -- I'm with you in spirit!!