So, I should have posted yesterday but this silly full-time job got in the way.
Happy only-four-years-left-to-complete-this-list birthday to me!
Coming soon:
- Mashed Cauliflower
- Portabello Mushrooms
- Vegan Sloppy Joes
- Still running!
- probably some other things, too!
Thursday, May 31
Thursday, May 10
Manatees make me hyperventilate.
Now is as good a time as any to address the elephant in the room about switching some of my list items.
The most dramatic is the #6 switch - from scuba diving to cooking vegetables - and it's the one I've been writing most about lately.
In a nutshell, I realized that I wanted very little to do with submersing my face in water and breathing through a tube at the same time. I realized this while trying to pet a wild manatee.
Last summer - almost a year ago?! - my sister and I drove from good ol' KCMO all the way down to Crystal River, FL en route to Orlando so that she could start an internship at SeaWorld. Crystal River is known for one thing on a national scale: it's one of only a handful of places where you can get in the water with a wild manatee.
Now, if you haven't met my sister there is something important that you should know: she likes animals more than humans. And if she has a chance to interact with an animal - and I mean ANY animal - she will take it. She will approach raccoons at dumpsters. She will kiss Beluga whales. She will feed seagulls Cheez-its from the balcony of the tiny hotel room your family is sharing for a week so that when anyone walks out they are intimidated by the rats-with-wings who have been enticed by the salty goodness.
She has taken dozens of pictures of EVERY SQUIRREL she has seen since arriving in Florida, and has the Facebook albums to prove it.
When she discovered that you could swim with manatees she about died from the decibles emitted by her own squeals of delight. True story.
This is how I came to find myself on a flat-bottomed boat at 6-in-the-morning in a city without a Starbucks. Along for the ride with us were a mother-daughter duo - the daughter basically a carbon-copy of Martha, an the mother an embodiment of the feelings of 'no-really-I'm-fine-on-the-boat-you-go-ahead' that I was trying to mask.
When we got to the spot with manatees, and I realized I had to get in the SAME water, I started to freak out a little. Heart pounding, shallow breathing kinda freaking out. Fun fact - when you're trying to get a good, deep breath, a snorkel mask is the last thing you should be wearing. Martha was blinded by excitement, which was good because she just kept insisting I get in because "THIS IS SO COOL!!!!!!"
Turns out when I put my face in the water, I start reeeeeally hyperventilating, despite my best efforts to calm myself. And the cherry on top of all of this is that my mask wasn't working properly - little suction thingies on the bottom designed to let air out but keep water from coming in had bent so that there were holes just big enough to let a sneaky amount of water in. When you're already convinced you're going to be eaten by a wild manatee, the thought of drowning is not welcome.
I climbed back on the boat after some frolicking with a baby manatee to figure out my mask. After that, I convinced myself it would be better since I'd be able to breathe a little more normally. I wasn't wrong, but I wasn't right either. I really liked petting the baby manatee - he was very sweet and playful and didn't, in fact, try to eat me. I even convinced myself that he hugged me at one point. But I really wanted out of the water and to have the constant feeling of suffocation lifted off my face.
That was when I decided that scuba diving is NOT for me.
I could handle breathing from a tube (once it worked), and occasionally wiping the condensation off of the mask, but I cannot handle the thought of having anything that tight on my face long enough for me to get any good out of scuba-ing. And I can't handle my nose being plugged for that long.
I could see a valid argument that my list shouldn't just be full of fun things and baked goods, but things that ultimately make me better and challenge me to "get out of my comfort zone." To that I say, this isn't the item that would accomplish that. All that would happen is I would be uncomfortable for 3 hours just to say I checked something off the list, and that isn't what the list is about. The list is about life experiences, not just a checklist. If there is an equally challenging or meaningful experience waiting to be put on the list instead, it'd be wrong to keep that experience waiting!
Plus, it's my list so neener-neener-neener I get to do what I want!
The most dramatic is the #6 switch - from scuba diving to cooking vegetables - and it's the one I've been writing most about lately.
 |
| My sister likes manatees. A lot. |
Last summer - almost a year ago?! - my sister and I drove from good ol' KCMO all the way down to Crystal River, FL en route to Orlando so that she could start an internship at SeaWorld. Crystal River is known for one thing on a national scale: it's one of only a handful of places where you can get in the water with a wild manatee.
Now, if you haven't met my sister there is something important that you should know: she likes animals more than humans. And if she has a chance to interact with an animal - and I mean ANY animal - she will take it. She will approach raccoons at dumpsters. She will kiss Beluga whales. She will feed seagulls Cheez-its from the balcony of the tiny hotel room your family is sharing for a week so that when anyone walks out they are intimidated by the rats-with-wings who have been enticed by the salty goodness.
She has taken dozens of pictures of EVERY SQUIRREL she has seen since arriving in Florida, and has the Facebook albums to prove it.
When she discovered that you could swim with manatees she about died from the decibles emitted by her own squeals of delight. True story.
This is how I came to find myself on a flat-bottomed boat at 6-in-the-morning in a city without a Starbucks. Along for the ride with us were a mother-daughter duo - the daughter basically a carbon-copy of Martha, an the mother an embodiment of the feelings of 'no-really-I'm-fine-on-the-boat-you-go-ahead' that I was trying to mask.
 |
| "No, really. This is great!" |
 |
| Baby manatee! Turns out they *don't* eat humans. Or meat. |
 |
| Martha, fearless as usual! |
I climbed back on the boat after some frolicking with a baby manatee to figure out my mask. After that, I convinced myself it would be better since I'd be able to breathe a little more normally. I wasn't wrong, but I wasn't right either. I really liked petting the baby manatee - he was very sweet and playful and didn't, in fact, try to eat me. I even convinced myself that he hugged me at one point. But I really wanted out of the water and to have the constant feeling of suffocation lifted off my face.
That was when I decided that scuba diving is NOT for me.
I could handle breathing from a tube (once it worked), and occasionally wiping the condensation off of the mask, but I cannot handle the thought of having anything that tight on my face long enough for me to get any good out of scuba-ing. And I can't handle my nose being plugged for that long.
I could see a valid argument that my list shouldn't just be full of fun things and baked goods, but things that ultimately make me better and challenge me to "get out of my comfort zone." To that I say, this isn't the item that would accomplish that. All that would happen is I would be uncomfortable for 3 hours just to say I checked something off the list, and that isn't what the list is about. The list is about life experiences, not just a checklist. If there is an equally challenging or meaningful experience waiting to be put on the list instead, it'd be wrong to keep that experience waiting!
Plus, it's my list so neener-neener-neener I get to do what I want!
Thursday, May 3
OMG KALE CHIPS (Veggies #6.4)
Have you ever eaten kale before?
I hadn't either, but here's the deal: if you tear it up, toss it in olive oil, add a little salt, and bake for 20ish minutes, it turns into this light, crisp, airy, crackly, salty snack.
For me, this is heaven from a baking sheet. I LOVE the crunch of, well, anything crunchy. In high school I would come home, take a plastic cup over to the refrigerator and fill it to the brim with crushed ice before filling it with water. Then I'd eat it. (That might have also had something to do with the anemia at the time, but even still I will crunch the crap out of an ice cube.)
Anyway. Kale. Right.
Easy. Delicious. Crunches like a potato chip with the nutrition of spinach! Win!
First wash & dry the kale. Then tear it into chip-size pieces. I recommend tearing them off of the middle stem; that part doesn't fare too well after being baked.
Put the pieces in a bowl and drizzle with olive oil. You really don't need much - a couple tablespoons at most for a large bunch of kale is plenty. The kale will turn from a dusty green to a much brighter veggie green. Be sure to coat the leaves well by using your fingers to spread the oil around.
Lay out on a cookie sheet without any of the pieces overlapping. If they overlap, they won't crisp up like they should. Shake your desired amount of salt on there.
Bake at 350˚ - After the first 15 mins, I'd check every two minutes or so until you learn how fast it cooks in your oven.
When the edges are turning brown, or they kinda slide around if you shake the pan, or they don't flop when you try to pick them up, you're done! (I tried all of these. I'm wary of just looking at things and saying, "yep! done!" so I start poking at them. Sometimes with sticks.)
I hadn't either, but here's the deal: if you tear it up, toss it in olive oil, add a little salt, and bake for 20ish minutes, it turns into this light, crisp, airy, crackly, salty snack.
For me, this is heaven from a baking sheet. I LOVE the crunch of, well, anything crunchy. In high school I would come home, take a plastic cup over to the refrigerator and fill it to the brim with crushed ice before filling it with water. Then I'd eat it. (That might have also had something to do with the anemia at the time, but even still I will crunch the crap out of an ice cube.)
Anyway. Kale. Right.
Easy. Delicious. Crunches like a potato chip with the nutrition of spinach! Win!
First wash & dry the kale. Then tear it into chip-size pieces. I recommend tearing them off of the middle stem; that part doesn't fare too well after being baked.
Put the pieces in a bowl and drizzle with olive oil. You really don't need much - a couple tablespoons at most for a large bunch of kale is plenty. The kale will turn from a dusty green to a much brighter veggie green. Be sure to coat the leaves well by using your fingers to spread the oil around.
Lay out on a cookie sheet without any of the pieces overlapping. If they overlap, they won't crisp up like they should. Shake your desired amount of salt on there.
Bake at 350˚ - After the first 15 mins, I'd check every two minutes or so until you learn how fast it cooks in your oven.
 |
| I forgot to take photos before throwing them in the oven. |
If you try these, let me know what you think! I have started demolishing bunches of kale in a single sitting, so you know it's good. Since making this for the first time about a month ago, I've bought at least 5 bunches to make it again.
Note: I tried taking some to work in a tupperware after baking them the night before, and letting them cool completely before covering. They lost almost all of the good flaky crunch and were wilty the next day. I re-baked them when I got home, and they were better, but I still haven't mastered transport. If you have any ideas, let me know!
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